The Many Faces of the One

  What is this?

Who am I?

The Many Faces of the One: article 7  - the unpublished esoteric writings and works of an aging yogi.

"I am Spirit. I am free. I am free from past, present and future. I am free from all constructs, concepts, conditions and circumstances. I am free from the appearance and disappearance of all creation and its myriad of forms. I am free from the duality of subject and object. These things do not limit me or imprison me. They cannot hurt me or destroy me. They do not define me.

I am Spirit. I am free. I am free from all opinions, views, labels, ideas and names. I am free from how others see or think of me. I am free from how I see and think of myself. These things do not limit me or imprison me. They cannot hurt me or destroy me. They do not define me.

I am Spirit. I am free. I am not how others see or think of me. I am not how I see or think of myself. I am not the appearance and disappearance of all creation and its myriad of forms. I am not the false impression of doer-ship or the duality of subject and object. I am not the mental and physical faculties of the mind and body. These things do not limit me or imprison me. They cannot hurt me or destroy me. They do not define me." Only God is Real as the eternal and ever-present 'I-am'.

            continuing from the compiled writings and works of article 6:

 

THE SACRED NOWNESS of 'I AM'

We could say and potentially agree that experience is really only ever happening now in the moment of experiencing and in the knowing of experiencing rather than anywhere else beyond the now-ness of 'I am', and yet the individualized mind creates for us the mental impression, concept and idea of time, form, distance and space. It creates and projects the sensory impression, concept and idea of time, form, distance and space on to all that is being experienced in experiencing and having now and the knowing of experience. The mind creates the mental impression, concept and idea of distance, past, present, time and future as a playing out of mental constructs, situations, dramas, conditions and formations. It is only with the individualized and conditioned mind are these things present, seen and known in our experience of experiencing and knowing experience, and this includes mind-consciousness. I would say, no mind, no experience, and no phenomenal world; no perception of time, form or space. Only 'I am'. No-thing to speak of or know. No suffering or end of suffering. No ignorance or end of ignorance. No bondage or liberation. Only 'emptiness' as that which is real. This being the 'I-am' of I am.

Therefore as an aspiring and fully committed atman-yogi we can ask of ourselves in the contemplative and meditative stillness and silence of 'I-am', 'what is actually real, permanent and substantial in us having and knowing experience?'

What is this?

Who am I?

Yes, the presence of 'now' is always present to us in some transitory and ever-changing form of experiencing and knowing experience but rarely does what is experienced and known remain permanently the same. We all know that the sensory realms of experience and experiencing are always changing. Certainly all our day-to-day lives appear to be governed, conditioned, marked and shaped by change and transition. It would appear that all of conceptual and cognitive life is marked, conditioned and shaped by change and impermanence. Change can have the appearance of being inescapable, no matter how much we attempt to grasp and hold on to things, forms, conditions, events and experiences including individualized thoughts, moods, emotions and feelings, especially the ones we desire and want to keep the most. 

What appears real to us, is only a temporary mind-made construct or mental impression of experiencing and knowing as a result of sensory perception, sense objects and mind-consciousness. It has no separate and permanent reality or truth of its own. We only really experience an ever-changing phenomenal world with the presence of mind-consciousness - the knowing faculty of experiencing and experience. Even taste, smell, touch, hearing, seeing and thinking are perceived with the mind and mind-consciousness. Names, concepts and labels are attached to experience and experiencing rather than those mental objects existing as really being those things. We could say, 'emptiness' or 'no-thingness', is all there is, but it is pretty obvious to us that we still experience it as being an expression of something conditioned, changing, sensory and tangible. What we emotionally invest and buy into is not as real and meaningful as we would like to think it is, and yet we all agree that something is definitely happening as an experience of experiencing and knowing experience and there is a known and conscious awareness and knowing of this experience. How we interpret, think and conclude what that experience is, as we know it, can differ from person to person. It can differ from moment to moment, from day to day and from situation to situation. All experience and experiencing is mind and mind-consciousness, and our mental conditioning and mindset will determined how we choose to interpret it, even at an unconscious level. So even the mind cannot fully serve us in the genuine knowing of 'I-am'.

What is this?

Who am I?

 

NOT BEING FOOLED BY THE CONDITIONED MIND 

 

It would be absolutely foolish of me or anyone to suggest that nothing is happening in our individualized awareness, experience and embodied knowing of experience, when clearly something is. Experience is, whether we agree or disagree on what it is. Our interpretations, ideas, views and opinions might differ on what experience is, but I think most of us would agree that something is known as an experience of knowing and experiencing, although it's flavor, form and context might differ depending on the one who is having and perceiving experience. 

What I mean by this, is, experience as it is presented at any given time or moment might be agreeable or disagreeable or even neutral to us, depending on our mental conditioning, interpretations, desires, urges, opinions, beliefs, views and preferences. But in a way I would state that in fact 'no-thing' is what really is happening even though we experience it as 'something' that is. What is overlooked is what is actually meant by the use of  'no-thing', or should I say 'no-thingness'. What I mean by this is, 'I am. Life is.' Nothing more than is. Nothing needs to happen and yet everything can and does happen. Nothing needs to change, and yet everything can and does change. Nothing needs to be and yet everything can be. Nothing needs to be done and yet all things can and are done. Nothing needs to become and be and yet forms, worlds, creations, events and realms can and do become and be. Plain and simple. Everything is 'emptiness' despite the appearances of forms, constructs and phenomena. What we experience as being forms, constructs and phenomena lack any real permanence. This is why we say they are unreal. All phenomena come into being and disappear form being.

What Self-realization and Spiritual-awakening is asking of us as an aspiring and committed atman-yogi is to 'see things for what they really are' beyond the worldly trappings, demands limitations and entanglements of the mind/body experience. It is a letting go of what we have assumed or been told to believe of reality, experience and identity. It is an authentic invitation to discover directly and intimately for ourselves, with the use of objectiveless awareness and contemplation, what presents itself to us when we temporarily put aside our conditioned identity and attachment with the mind/body experience and the ever-changing phenomenal world. Rather than simply chasing and pursuing experience, we are asked to closely investigate and examine what experiencing and experience actually is from the stillness and silence of 'I-am. Life is'. What is its true essence, source, origin and nature? This includes the mind/body experience and the cause of suffering and the end of suffering. Where and what is the real root and cause of reality, experience and identity? What is this stuff called life? Energy? Spirit?

     What is real and permanent? What truth is there is the esoteric statement that 'Only God is Real'?

What is this?

Who am I?

Yes, clearly and obviously something is happening in our experience and the knowing of experience, and yes, there appears to be a subject that experiences it and attempts to make sense of the phenomenal world, and all its ever-changing worldly events, dramas, forms, creations and situations, as an object of experience, but who is it that is actually having experience? What is it that is aware of 'now' as an experience with all its ever-changing phenomena, creations and forms? Who or what is it that feels and knows either joy or sorrow, gain or loss, praise or blame, success or failure, pleasure or pain, birth or death in relationship to all that the phenomenal world is or is not? Who is it that seeks to acquire and have permanent happiness, reward and contentment as a moment to moment experience only to find them to be temporary visitors in our ever-changing experience? Who is it that can get frustrated and seeks to be free of the never-ending worldly demands, changes and challenges of life only again to find themselves seemingly imprisoned and plagued by worldly limitations, expectations, demands, failures and disappointments? Where does all this suffering originate? Where is the beginning of suffering and end of suffering? Does it simply begin and end with so-called the mind?

I simply presents these esoteric questions of self-inquiry and self-reflection as examples of what has plagued, challenged and tormented my mind over the years and years of informal and formal spiritual practice and self-inquiry into the truth of reality, experience and identity. Would I have had enough blind faith to simply approach self-inquiry into the nature of reality, experience and identity with only the meditative and contemplative suggestion of 'Only God is Real' as the untouched and untainted 'I-am'? This I cannot know or say with all certainty. This statement of 'Only God is Real' as the ever-present and eternal 'I-am', has only come to me as a genuine consequence and result of my personal spiritual commitments and on-going driving passion for spiritual self-inquiry and Self-realization. So I'm not in a position to say. Any yet I stand by it as truth, that Only God is Real. 'I-am'. Life is'. 

All is the 'I-am' of I am.

The Truth is so simple and obvious when truly seen and recognized and yet the individualized mind doesn't give itself up so readily or easily. It has invested too much emotionally in the illusions and false promises of conceptual and conditioned life and the ego, the temporary mental construct of individuality, conditionality and separateness, which relies on keeping this lie alive so as to prosper and gain potential power and control over the world, events and others. As I know it to be, personal power, status, self-importance, fame, praise and ownership of others plays no part in the genuine quest for  esoteric Self-realization. It is a palpable and intimate silence and stillness that is free of all things.

THE EVER-CHANGING WORLD

As we can all come to know in this life of appearances and phenomena is that change can happen in a flash, and our limited and embodied lives can be over and done with in a flash too, and yet amazingly the human spirit of our humanity seeks to have more, be more and do more regardless. Very few of us become mentally or physically immobilized by the fear and becoming of old age, loss, decay, sickness, lack and death. We know it will come and yet we still continue to live out our lives, get caught up and attached to all that life is and is not. Again there is nothing wrong in this. I do not present these esoteric contemplative and meditative writings and works so as to get down on life. Life can be and is very beautiful, and yet at the same time it can be brutally beautiful, especially when what we like and love is taken from us. These esoteric contemplative and meditative writings and works into the nature of reality, experience and identity are presented so we can see things for what they really are and then to fully live, love and play out our embodied and sacred lives from this knowing, knowledge and wisdom of pure 'Spirit'. It is a genuine invitation to fully embrace all of life in this Truth of 'I-am'. 

 

We can all ask of ourselves in the stillness and silence of spiritual self-inquiry, contemplation and meditation, "is the phenomenal world and all its ever-changing dramas, events and situations really the on-going playing out of 'emptiness'? And if so, "who is the one that recognizes this truth of experience?

    Is there really a permanent state of happiness to be gained that is unconditioned and unchanging?

We too can all ask ourselves directly of experience and experiencing, "what is the mind, and what is the source of the mind? Who is the one that is silently aware of the idea and concept of mind? Who is this 'I' that recognizes and knows all experience and experiencing? Who or what is it that seeks to be permanently happy, rewarded, satisfied, fearless and fulfilled in all that life is in any given moment of experience and experiencing? What is my true permanent nature, reality and identity?

What is suggested here in the spiritual exploration and self-inquiry of Self-realization and Spiritual-awakening is that what is appearing to happen in the act of experiencing is only the mental tendencies and conditions of the mind/body experience, and when the mind/body experience is actually examined and investigated for what it is, we only find an ever-changing bundle of thoughts and mental impressions that have no real substance of permanence. It is all transitory and conditioned by change. Therefore, strongly and emotionally investing in that which is impermanent and unreal will only ever result in disappoint in the end. We are once again left seeking permanent happiness, fulfilment, reward, assurance and peace in that which is always changing. What Atman-Yoga is suggesting to us that true abiding and lasting happiness, fulfilment, reward, assurance, plenitude, beauty and peace come from the spiritual and transcendental knowing and knowledge of 'I-am'. Life is.' Only God is Real. This is not something to be created, acquired, made or gained. It already is and it is our true nature, reality and identity. It is the 'I-am' of I am. It is the one ever-present Truth of reality, experience and identity. Like I stated. it is a palpable, enduring and ever-present silence and stillness that is untouched and untainted by the comings and goings of all things, creations, dramas and phenomena.

EMBRACING THE REAL

As I've already suggested and repeated, it is all 'emptiness' appearing as mind, appearing as body, appearing as -mind-consciousness, and appearing as the phenomenal world of things, dramas, events, phenomena, creations and forms. This might appear complex in its execution but really it is a spiritual revelation and release in that it frees the individualized embodied mind from what appears to be limiting, personal, real, painful, concrete, lacking and troublesome. In fully recognizing and realizing, in the moments of grasping, clinging and fear, that our interpretations, beliefs, views and ideas of experience is something that is largely a self-made mental construct and projection of the mind rather than what reality, experience and identity really are in those moments, is the spiritual and transcendental step that brings us closer and closer to our own innate and permanent state of freedom, immortality, bliss, plenitude, beauty, wholeness, love and peace. We stop seeking permanence in that which is impermanent. We stop objectifying and attaching our desire and neediness for permanent reward, wholeness, pleasure and gratification on that which is always changing. We find a fulfilling and genuine refuge, reliance and assurance in that which is real, enduring, unlimited, boundless and permanent - the unchanging and inexhaustible Deathless Self. 'I-AM'. We abide and identify with the Absolute.

 

We stop making others responsible for how we think, act and feel. We stop making others responsible for our desire and need for love, acceptance, purpose, wholeness, self-worth, reward, intimacy and meaning. We come to realize and know that peace, love, freedom, beauty, plenitude, intimacy, bliss and self-acceptance are not to be created, found, acquired, made, controlled and gained. They already are our true undying essence, source, origin and nature. Then we know we are love, peace, beauty, plenitude, intimacy, bliss and freedom itself, which no one will have the ability, right or power to threaten, destroy or take away. It relies on no-thing outside of itself. It is completely self-reliant and self-sufficient. This is why we describe it as inexhaustible and boundless. It is not made so it cannot be broken. It is not created so it cannot be destroyed. It is not acquired therefore it cannot be taken away. It is not formed or conditioned therefore it is completely free of all things and phenomena. It cannot be limited because its essence and nature is boundless. This is the truth of 'I-am'. This is the genuine esoteric message of Atman-Yoga. The Deathless Self alone is. All reality and identity are this.

Yes, there is a temporary and conditioned happiness to be found in the reward, gain or giving up of certain sensory objects and experiences but this too will come to pass. This is the empty and unreal nature of all worldly and unworldly things and dramas. It is this spiritual realization and insight into the way things really are that frees us from the painful and limiting illusory grip and trappings of a dual and ever-changing life. We can truly, intimately and fully be in the world and yet at the same time, completely free of the world and all its creations. Living, loving, accepting, sharing, having intimacy and letting go. No longer seeking permanence in that which is always changing. Not being attached and identified with that which is unreal, ever-changing and transitory. We come to live, embodied and know peace, love, beauty, plenitude, intimacy, bliss and freedom as our true undying essence, source, origin and nature. Knowing Only God is Real as the eternal, ever-present and boundless 'I-am'.

I am the 'I-am' of I am.

'Emptiness is our true effortless essence, origin and nature; all things and creations reside and have their being in 'emptiness'. Every form and phenomena appears, moves and disappears through and within 'emptiness'; coming from now-here and going to now-here. 'Emptiness' is within each one of us and each one of us are within 'emptiness'. In fact, 'emptiness' is all that there is. Even to say within or without is incorrect. Once this is authentically and fully recognizes and known all can be as it is.' This is the highest spiritual perception and knowledge of reality, experience and identity. It is the highest embodied knowing of a fully realized atman-yogi - the Deathless Yogi. This is one who is always abiding and identifying with the Absolute. Never coming from anywhere and never going anywhere.

             This is the supreme esoteric message of Atman-Yoga. The Deathless Self alone is.

Atman-Yoga Daily Mantra: 'I am. Life is'. I am one with all life and all life is one with 'I-am'. Oneness in body. Oneness in mind. Oneness in all things."

Atman-Yoga Daily Meditation: 'Only God is Real.'

Song of the Deathless Yogi:

                                        I am 'emptiness'. All is 'emptiness'. 'Emptiness' is all. 

                                    Form is 'emptiness'. Only 'emptiness'. 'Emptiness' is form'.

 

This esoteric blog is dedicated to my earthly mother 'Rita' who transitioned on the 12th December 2021. A truly selfless, kind, beautiful and loving embodied soul, friend and mother. 

The Many Faces of the One

What is this?

Who am I?

     The Many Faces of the One: article 6  - the unpublished esoteric writings of an aging yogi.

"I am Spirit. I am free. I am free from eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body and mind. I am free from sight, smell, taste, touch, and objects of mind. I am free from all sensory realms of experience including mind-consciousness. These things do not limit me or imprison me. They can not hurt me or destroy me. They do not define me.

I am Spirit. I am free. I am not eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body and mind. I am not sight, sound, smell, taste, touch and objects of mind. I am not mind-consciousness. I am not the mental and physical faculties of the mind and body. These things do not limit me or imprison me. They can not hurt me or destroy me. They do not define me. I am Spirit. I am free. I am." Only God is Real as 'I-am'.

            continuing from the esoteric unpublished writings and works of  article 5 -

ONLY GOD is REAL

"If we say, "I am this or I am that", then this is not Atman-Yoga. If we say, "life is this or life is that", then this also is not Atman-Yoga. "I-am. Life is." Nothing more than this. Plain and simple. This is Atman-Yoga. Only God is Real as the eternal 'I-am'. The Deathless Self alone is. All is this.

I am the 'I-am' of I am.

It is only us, or should I say the so-called conditioned, embodied and individualized mind, that attaches labels, ideas, opinions, preferences, names, views and self-importance to the temporary things, events, projections, creations and dramas of the phenomenal and ever-changing world, when all the time their existence is only the fabrication and continuation of the impersonal and transitory mind/body experience. It is like a worldly mind-made fiction and drama that we assume to be real. We assume it to be substantial, reliable and permanent, when it is truly empty, unreal, ever-changing, impersonal and transitory. Whatever happiness, pleasure and reward is to be found and gained from the things, dramas, events and conditions of this ever-changing dual world of things, creations and forms will not last, and this too includes the mind/body experience.

Due to the temporary worldly sleep of ignorance, what is actually unreal, impermanent, impersonal and insubstantial we mistakenly take for being real, permanent, personal and substantial, and therefore we become emotionally invested in it, attached and identified with it. We mistake the cognitive 'I' for the real 'I'. We mistake the impersonal 'I' as the personal 'I'. We attach permanence to where there is only change, transition, emptiness and impermanence. We strongly objectify and project our desire and need for permanent happiness, reward, reliance, security and peace of mind on all that is changing and empty only to be left dissatisfied, confused and restless. We mistake the 'I' thought as the one who has experience, when the 'I' is not something that we are but something we become and identify with. And yet even the 'I' is not our true identity, and so too with the so-called individualized mind and intellect. We are much bigger than this.

We are the 'I-am' of I am.

Yes, I-am. Life is. And yet we make it much more than this. It moves away from pure existence of 'I-am' and 'life is'. It becomes conceptual thinking and the body identity. In waking up to our true nature and essence we might ask ourselves, "what is the root and origin of this 'I' thought?" What is it the original source and essence of this feeling and sense of 'I-am'? Who or what is that seeks permanent happiness, security and fulfilment in that which is always changing? Even 'becoming' and 'being' are temporary appearances in time, space and form. Like waves are to the ocean. And space, time and form are appearances as mind within mind-consciousness. They too are a temporary and selfless projection of our true undying and eternal essence, source, origin and nature. If we are to awaken from the temporary sleep and suffering of ignorance, we must willingly venture beyond the confines and limits of the mind/body experience to fully realize and know our true undying and formless identity - the true and absolute essence and root of 'I-am'. This being the 'I-am' of I am.

        Therefore, we could ask, should we have the genuine desire and commitment to know, what is that precedes all of this, 'I-am. Life is', if anything? 

 What is this? 

Who am I?

 

KNOWING THE REAL FROM THE UNREAL

In 'becoming' and 'being' our interpretations, opinions, ideas, views, preferences and beliefs become relevant, purposeful and meaningful to us and our experience of the phenomenal world of things. What has the appearance of being external to us is simply played out in the workings, conditions and tendencies of the individualized mind. These things build, condition and shape our experience and the on-going story and fiction we tell ourselves about who we are and what the phenomenal world is. Not only do they decide how we view our own self-image and persona but also others too. We simply appear to forget it is only us or should I say the impersonal appearance of temporary and empty phenomena making 'nothingness' into something that we attach meaning, selfhood, value and purpose to. It is all the transcendental playing out and dance of 'emptiness' - the unchanging and eternal Deathless Self. Nothing more than this. It is all 'emptiness' continuously playing out and dancing.

            - No mind, no phenomenal world. No phenomenal world, no experience. Emptiness as form and form always remaining as emptiness- unchanging, unborn, ageless and deathless. The Self filled with the Self, forever remaining as the Self. In truth all reality and identity is Divinity itself.

It is only us, or should I say the individualized mind, that decides what is appropriate and inappropriate to us; what is acceptable and unacceptable in our lives when in fact it is all impersonal, empty, unreal and selfless despite it appearing as personal, substantial and real to us. Life and what it is, is all happening in and of itself. It is all 'emptiness' playing out and acting out as a myriad of multiple transitory expressions, forms, events, dramas, creations and phenomena. It is all the selfless and impersonal eternal transcendental play and dance of 'emptiness' and nothing more. This is not to say that there isn't any feeling or sense of 'I' that is playing and acting out one's so-called individualized embodied life, but this too is an impersonal, selfless and unreal phenomena and expression of self-awareness. It is a temporary projection and construct of our own true undying essence, source, origin and nature. It is all simply 'emptiness', pure 'Spirit', doing its endless sacred and abundant transcendental play and dance of infinite possibilities and forms that appear, change and disappear. Multiple visible and invisible worlds and realms coming and going; countless lives coming and going; endless appearances coming and going; an abundance of experiences coming and going; endless phenomena coming and going and ever-changing dramas, situations, conditions and events coming and going. Like continuous waves on the vast eternal ocean of life. It is all 'emptiness' doing its endless sacred, spontaneous and impersonal play and dance.

 

This does not take away from fully living our so-called embodied humanity in all its fullness of life. If anything it totally enhances and fills it with the truthfulness, recognition and knowledge of pure 'Spirit' therefore making it more real, fulfilling, loving, intimate and genuine in the way we live it out and interact with others. It is all the Self filled with the Self, being the Self, forever remaining as the Self. In this recognition, knowing and knowledge of pure 'Spirit' our individualized embodied experience is much more fearless, free, fulfilled, honest, intimate, genuine, forgiving, spiritual, abundant, compassionate, real, kind and loving. This is as an awakening and tangible consequence of seeing things for what they really are and realizing that no-thing is really personal. That which we are, pure 'Spirit', is not altered, changed, threaten, limited, lessened, improved or affected by all that happens or doesn't happen in the world. The presence, intimacy and freedom of pure 'Spirit' that we have with the world is not reliant or attached to the ever-changing conditions, dramas, forms and events of the dual and conditioned world of things, creations and phenomena. It is always free, whole, at peace, pure, attractive, fulfilled, abundant, reliant and loved, no matter what is going on with the world, and its myriad and diversity of appearances, dramas, situations, creations and forms. All is reality and identity is boundless 'emptiness'. It is the 'I-am' of I am.

  This is the life-affirming message of Atman-Yoga. The true full embodiment of an atman-yogi.

I am the 'I-am' of I am.

 

 LOVING THE WORLD AS 'I AM'

"I am Spirit. I am free. I am free from space, time and form. I am free from birth, old age, decay, sickness, lack and death. I am free from all worldly and unworldly phenomena, be they favorable or unfavorable, pleasing or unpleasant, rewarding or disappointing, easy or challenging. These things do not limit me or imprison me. They can not hurt me or destroy me. They do not define me.

I am Spirit. I am free. I am not space, time and form. I am not birth, old age, decay, sickness, lack and death. I am not the appearance, change and disappearance of worldly or unworldly phenomena. I am not the duality of subject and object. These things do not limit me or imprison me. They can not hurt me or destroy me. They do not define me." Only God is Real as the eternal and undying 'I-am'.

              'I-am. Life is.' Nothing more than is. 

It is only us who, or should I say the individualized and conditioned mind, that decides what to love or to hate, or to like or dislike. It is only the temporary and ever-changing conditions, tendencies, urges and preferences of the so-called individualized mind. It is not the things in themselves that do this to us. In truth there is no real 'us'. It only appears to be this way. It is all one interconnected and boundless Reality, doing its own sacred dance. Again we are the ones giving meaning, value and purpose to our world or should I say the impersonal playing out of the mind/body experience with its conditioning, habits, preferences, urges and mental tendencies. And yet at the same time we would not assume we do not exist when no mind or phenomenal world are present, like in deep sleep. 'I-am' always is, whether worlds, realms, experiences or conditions, dramas and phenomena exist or not. 

Like I've already stated, the chair is both there and not there. The chair has no real existence independent of the mind, and the mind has no independent existence from the interconnected playing out of mental formations, impressions, tendencies and projections. Without the mind how could the phenomenal world exist to us? Who would know that it is actually here or there? Obviously we assume it would be, even when the mind and the phenomenal and conceptual world are not present to us. Both the impersonal and personal are temporary phenomena like all phenomena. These are recognized and known as ideas, objects, creations and phenomena and yet their recognition demonstrates their lack of real permanence. The experience of 'I' and the phenomenal world appear and disappear together. Both essentially are transitory, empty and impermanent in nature, and yet the 'I-am' always is. The truth of reality, experience and identity always is. It is all Divinity itself. Only 'emptiness'. Our true absolute and limitless identity as 'I-am'. All is this one enduring Reality.

The on-going temporary and ever-changing experience of the phenomenal world and all its forms, dramas and creations show up as we wake from sleep and disappears when we fall into sleep. Experience shows up and the feeling and sense of 'I' shows up with it. What is interesting here in the close and direct examination and investigation of the so-called individualized 'self' is both the 'I' and the world are known by that which recognizes their existence. In the self-inquiry and pursuit of Self-realization and Spiritual-awakening, we can all ask ourselves of experience and experiencing, "who is the one having the mind/body experience, and recognizes the phenomenal world of things and creations? If for a moment we were to put aside all the mental impressions and the phenomenal world too, who are we? Who or what is having experience? What is the phenomenal world without the one who experiences it? And 'who am I' without the experience and experiencing of the so-called phenomenal world? Who is it this 'I' that recognizes their own existence and who or what is it that needs to know? I would say it is simply, 'I-am. Life is'. Nothing more than this. We are all Reality itself. Only 'emptiness' spontaneously playing and dancing as the fullness and wholeness of all life.

Of course the one who is self-inquiring might strongly and confidently reply to the self-inquiry of 'who am I?' With 'me', but who or what is it that recognizes the feeling and thought of 'I' or 'me' and makes this self-assured and self-aware claim? Is this too not a recognized thought projection? Who or what is this 'me' that is so self-assured and certain of its existence and individuality, and the fact that it is the one who is having experience and is experiencing? What is its true underlying essence, origin and source? Can it really be fully known as an experience of experiencing?

What is this?

Who am I?

WAKEFULNESS

 

Remember I do not present these esoteric contemplative and meditative writings and works as a way to get down on life. In fact it is quite the opposite. It is so we can fully, intimately and freely embrace the fullness and brutal beauty of life with the recognition, knowing and knowledge of pure 'Spirit' and not be fooled and entrapped by its ever-changing appearances, phenomena, conditions, creations and forms. We can fully, intimately and freely be in the world and yet not of the world. We can fully, intimately and freely love and be at peace with all that the world is or is not, and all that it delivers and takes away with the recognition, truth and knowledge of pure 'Spirit'; that 'Only God is Real' as 'I-am'. We are all truly Reality itself, and will always remain so despite the appearance, presence and disappearance of phenomena, worlds, realms, conditions, creations and forms. The appearance and disappearance of phenomena, worlds, realms, conditions, creations and forms does not affect, limit, threaten, hinder, lessen, improve, change or alter that which we truly are. The 'I-am' remains as it is - untouched, unmoved, unlimited, boundless and unaltered.

We can all as aspiring and committed atman-yogis ask directly and honestly of ourselves now in the profound silence and stillness of 'I-am', "who is the one having the experience of 'I' and the phenomenal world? Who is the so-called 'I' that makes this self-assured and self-aware claim of its own individualized, embodied and limited identity and existence? We can all examine and investigate in the silence and stillness of spiritual contemplation, self-inquiry and meditation that which recognizes the thought and feeling of 'I' or 'me'. What is it that recognizes and knows the 'I' thought? What is it's true essence, nature and source? What is it that is knowing and self-aware, and yet is not an object observed and known? Who am I that is beyond the very thought and idea of 'I'?

Who am I?

What is this?

              Can this intimate knowing of reality, experience and identity be truly known?

As I stated, we do not do this to get down on the world and all its ever-changing dramas, forms and events but we do this in order to discern and know the real from the unreal. We do this in order to directly, honestly and intimately know for ourselves that which is real, permanent and eternal, and to be free of the painful and limiting illusory grip of all that is unreal, uncertain, painful and unreliable. We do this in order to no longer be the self-made victims and prisoners of our own ignorance and limiting illusions. We do this in order to see things for what they really are, and then we will know how to be effortlessly, freely, courageously and genuinely in love, forgiving, free and at peace with the ever-changing world of things, forms, phenomena, creations and dramas despite its on-going challenges and changes. As a fully realized and awakened atman-yogi we will genuinely know that 'Only God is Real' as the ever-present 'I-am' and therefore there is nothing really to fear or loose in life or death. We will be a fully awakened and embodied knowing presence of reality, experience and identity. We will know that we and all phenomena are truly Reality itself. The one absolute and ever-present identity. The 'I-am' of I am. This is the knowing and knowledge of the Deathless Yogi.

             This is the essential message of Atman-Yoga. The Deathless Self alone is.

Atman-Yoga Daily Mantra: "I am. Life is. I am one with all life and all life is one with 'I-am'. Oneness in body. Oneness in mind. Oneness in all things."

 

Atman-Yoga Daily Meditation: 'Only God is real' as the eternal 'I-am'.

Song of the Deathless Yogi:

                                        I am 'emptiness'. All is 'emptiness'. 'Emptiness' is all. 

                                    Form is 'emptiness'. 'Emptiness' is form'. Only 'emptiness'.

 

This esoteric blog is dedicated to my earthly mother 'Rita' who transitioned on the 12th December 2021. A truly selfless, kind, beautiful and loving embodied soul, friend and mother. 

The Many Faces of the One

     The Many Faces of the One: article 5  - the unpublished esoteric writings of an aging yogi.

"I am Spirit. I am free. I am not the roles I play. I am not the actions I perform or the experiences I have. These things do not limit me or imprison me. They cannot hurt me or destroy me.

I am Spirit. I am free. I am free from the roles I play. I am free from the actions I perform, and I am free from the experiences I have. These things do not limit me or imprison me. They cannot hurt me or destroy me. They do not define me." 

Only God is Real as the eternal 'I-am'. This is our natural unborn state.

    continuing from the esoteric meditative and contemplative writings and works of article 4 -

What is this?

Who am I?

THE FULLNESS OF NOTHINGNESS

It would appear to us that out of 'no-thing' we experience what we would call 'something', and that so-called 'something' which came from 'no-thing' becomes what is identified with and attached to as being real, permanent, relevant and substantial to us. It has the substantial and tangible appearance of being personal to us, and to others and creates the worldly individualized mental impression of validating who and what we are. This now personal and individualized 'something' is what becomes 'I', 'me' and 'mine', as well as 'them', 'they' and 'other'. It becomes the worldly individualized identity of who I actually am despite being a temporary and transitory embodied projection and expression of reality - pure 'Spirit'. Individuality, conditionality and separateness become our held to reality, experience and identity, rather than the transcendental knowing and knowledge of the 'fullness of no-thingness' - the unchanging and unmoving Deathless Self as 'I-am'. Also as 'life is'. 'I-am' and 'life is' is the same one unified Reality and essence of Pure Being. All is the Deathless Self known as the ever-present and enduring 'I-am'.

From the worldly individualized embodied feeling and mental impression of separateness, conditionality and individuality we evolve and establishes our limited embodied identity; our idea, view, opinion and belief of 'self-hood' or 'me' in relationship to the ever-changing phenomenal world and the world of sensory things, forms, creations and phenomena. We develop, shape and condition our likes and dislikes; our personalized, social and global preferences, opinions, interpretations, beliefs, desires and ideas about the ever-changing phenomenal, conditioned and conceptual world. The ever-changing phenomenal world of things and dramas becomes the ever-changing sensory reality and experience with which the 'I', as an observer and recipient of experience, have an ever-changing individualized feeling and sense of 'self', 'mine' and 'other'. There is this held to notion, belief and idea of 'self-hood' and 'other' in relationship to all experiential things, creations, forms, dramas and phenomena', and there is this phenomenal sensory world filled with ever-changing phenomena and sensory objects, forms and creations that this 'I' now appears to interact with and form an on-going and changing relationship with. This on-going and changing process of 'becoming' and 'being' now defines who I am and what my life is from moment-to-moment, from day-to-day and from birth to death. 

The phenomenal so-called world is the ever-changing external object of our experience, mixed together with the ever-changing internal feelings, moods, perceptions, urges, desires, mental impressions and thoughts that the individualized 'I' has in relationship to experiencing, recognizing and knowing this ever-changing phenomenal and conceptual world. I am the subjective 'I' that knows and experiences this ever-changing phenomenal world of things, objects, creations, dramas and forms. I am the individualized subject that has these ever-changing thoughts, moods, perceptions, urges, desires, needs and feelings in relationship to it all. I am the self-aware and knowing individualized subject that has on-going and changing feelings, moods, perceptions, urges, desires, needs and thoughts in relationship to experience; be they pain or pleasure, elation or sorrow, attachment or aversion, self-doubt or certainty. This ever-changing phenomenal and conceptual world of sensory objects and things is where the 'I' feels an embodied individualized sense of one who is born, one who lives, one who acts, one who changes, one who ages, grows old, gets sick and one who will eventually decay and die. Out of 'no-thingness' is the whole fullness and experience of life and living our humanity. 

What Atman-Yoga informs and invites us to examine, observe and fully realize is that the true Reality, source, origin and essence of this so-called individualized embodied self and the universe is all the Absolute Self and nothing more. One Reality. One true Identity. This is the highest mystical full-realization, state and knowing of Self-knowledge. If we can call it this. It is Reality and identity as it really is regardless of appearances, forms, dramas and creations. It is the ever-present true light of the one absolute Self. One Reality. One Identity.

It is the 'I-am' of I am.

THE EVER-PRESENT AND ENDURING SELF

For many of us the ever-changing phenomenal world and all its appearances, dramas and events appear to be external and separate from the individual subject that experiences them. 'I' am here and the world is out there. I came into this world and at some uncertain or certain time in the near or distant future I will leave this finite and dual world of things, dramas, forms, creations and events. I will leave this ever-changing physical, decaying, changing and aging body. I will give up these ever-changing individualized thoughts, moods, perceptions, opinions, ideas, urges, beliefs, desires and feelings. I will, at some time, be done with the ever-changing worldly demands, needs, desires, disappointments, rewards, pleasures, challenges and expectations of this so-called dual conditioned and conceptual life. The embodied 'I' will die and leave behind all that it has acquired, possessed, gained, given up, lost, had and experienced. And this absolutely includes the aging body and all its latent and conditioned desires and earthly needs, wants, urges and impulses. 

It would certainly be rare for an embodied individual to think that somehow the world is what actually appeared to me, and it is the world that disappears from experience and not the 'I' that witnesses and knows it. It would also be very rare that an individualized embodied mind-consciousness would think, that it is the physical body and the mind that appear to me, and it is the physical body and the illusory individualized mind that disappear at death and not the 'I' that witnesses and knows it. I think most of us would assume this idea, view and belief of reality, experience and identity to be complete nonsense. And yet, maybe this is how it really is?

 

Atman-Yoga challenges us all to consider and examine the possibility that what we assume to be real, personal and substantial is actually unreal, impersonal and unsubstantial and therefore whatever relief from suffering we might acquire and find in the desires, cravings, wants, urges, beliefs and attachments of this dual phenomenal and conventional world they can only satisfy us temporarily. Their power to satisfy us is limited. This is not to say these things are bad or wrong, but we are no longer fooled by the demands, promises and expectations we place on them to somehow complete us or permanently satisfy us. What can be for us a source of pleasure can just as easily become an unwelcome source of pain and anguish. And this absolutely includes the mind/body experience and the dual conceptual and phenomenal world itself. Atman-Yoga openly recognizes and acknowledges that this is simply the way things are in a dual and ever-changing and uncertain world and universe. No one is to blame. No one is at fault. This is simply how it is, and has always been. The body, being what it is, is of the very nature to change, age, grow old, to have pain and discomfort, decay, get sick and die. It is marked, conditioned and shaped by birth, change, transition and impermanence. This is why we as atman-yogis seek to realize and have the highest mystical knowledge, knowing and perception of God - Reality. Simply to know that which is free, formless, unborn, eternal, ever-present and deathless. For the genuine aspiring atman-yogi this is the highest and most important of all human endeavors and commitments. It is to fully realize, know and embody this absolute Truth of reality, experience and identity. The 'I-am' of I am. One Reality. One Mind. One Truth. One Identity.

What is this?

Who am I?

KNOWING THE REAL FROM THE UNREAL

          
"I am Spirit. I am free. I am not the thoughts I think. I am not the feelings and moods I have. These things do not limit me or imprison me. They cannot hurt me or destroy me.

I am Spirit. I am free. I am free from the thoughts I think. I am free from the feelings and moods I have. These things do not limit me or imprison me. They cannot hurt me or destroy me. They do not define me." 

Only God is Real as the ever eternal and undying 'I-am'. One boundless and ever-present reality, Truth and identity.

Essentially what spiritual Self-realization and Spiritual-awakening or should I say, Atman-Yoga, is suggesting as an assertive step in fully realizing and having God-consciousness, and beyond, pure 'Spirit', is what we are actually experiencing and having is in fact a temporary, impersonal, ever-changing and limited, and yet perfect projection of our own true undying essence, source and nature; with which the feeling and sense of an individualized embodied 'I' and 'me' assumes as being its own experience and reality, when actually the feeling and sense of 'I' is itself only a mental projection and worldly impression. When we directly and closely investigate and examine with spiritual clarity and insight the truth of our individualized worldly embodied experience we find that the embodied 'I' has no real permanent substance other than what is mentally invested in it. We are the ones who give it validation, meaning and self-importance. We are the ones who attach permanence to that which is impermanent. It is only us who assume the ever-changing things, events, creations and dramas of this conceptual world to be real, reliable, satisfactory and permanent and therefore we invest our need for security, love, assurance, fulfilment, pleasure, reward and happiness on them only to be left dissatisfied, confused and disappointed. Rather than putting our reliance ,security and identity on the one true source, we attach it to its temporary and ever-changing forms and creations.

We are the ones that give these creations and forms so much self-importance, value and certainty as being permanent, reliable, personal and real. We are the ones who identify with the phenomenal world and all its ever-changing appearances in a personal and needy way only to be left disappointed, frustrated, blinded and confused. We are the ones who place self-importance and permanence on what we have decided has value, meaning and importance for us. It is only us who bring and attach relevance, purpose and meaning to what experience and the world is. I should really say, the individualized mind. Again there is nothing wrong with this, and yet when we see things for what they really are we are no longer fooled by them, or fooled by the ever-changing individualized mind. With the genuine wisdom of spiritual insight and Truth we recognize and acknowledge that the things that give us pleasure in life, like the body, can just as easily change and become an unwelcome source of pain, disappointment and anguish. Then we are no longer fooled by the appearances and false promises of worldly things, forms, dramas and creations. We see them for what they are and our self-reliance on them becomes secondary. We now think and act with the wisdom of esoteric insight into the true nature of reality, experience and identity and therefore are no longer fooled by all that is transitory, limited, impersonal and impermanent. This does not make the phenomenal world or the things that inhabit it bad or wrong. It is all simply seen for what it is. The one true source of reality, experience and identity is now our sole reliance and refuge.

In and of itself experience is no-thing in particular; it simply is what it is, even though we might consider it to be otherwise. With the individualized mind (thinking, perceptions and intellect) we make our world have meaning, value and purpose, but this is our own doing. This is our own making, otherwise we would all agree on absolutely everything and this clearly is not the case. It is very much a multi-dimensional and diverse dual world and universe. We simply are temporary and ever-changing embodied expressions of our own true undying and infinite reality, identity and nature, which needs no real meaning, definition, form or purpose in order to exist. It simply is. This is the esoteric wisdom and insight of Atman-Yoga. The Deathless Self alone is as the ever-present, impersonal and abiding knowing of 'I-am'. This is the true oneness and inexhaustible source of all life and the highest and purest state of spiritual Self-realization. For the one who is fully awake and knows the individualized self as the Absolute Self, all the universe and its ever-changing myriad and diversity of things, creations and worlds are so too the Self. The Self is the source, origin, identity and essence of all things, experiences, forms and creations. One Reality. One identity. One Truth. 

                                                

What is this?

Who am I?

SEEING THROUGH THE VEIL OF ILLUSION

What Atman-Yoga is inviting us all to directly investigate and examine for ourselves is the suggestion of 'no mind', therefore no experience, and no individualized subject that experiences'. It is all empty and free of anyone independent and substantial that is doing and having experience, even if the experience of it might seem to appear otherwise. There is no permanent separate or individualized embodied doer. There is only the playing out of interconnected temporary phenomena and appearances that have no permanent individualized 'self' and individual 'I' that is playing them out. It is all impersonal, transitory and empty of individual doer-ship. Things are done in and of themselves as an interconnected and selfless expression of Reality - pure Spirit, which has infinite and endless possibilities and boundless potential to continuously and endlessly express itself in multiple, diverse and multi-dimensional forms, phenomena, situations, dramas, realms, creations and worlds. 

In this esoteric recognition, knowing and knowledge of pure 'Spirit' nothing needs to happen and yet everything can and does happen. Nothing needs to exist or be and yet all experiences and phenomena can and do exist. Nothing needs to change and yet everything can and does change. Nothing need be done and yet all things can be and are done. None of what is done or not done actually alters, lessens, affects, threatens, hinders, limits, improves or changes what reality and identity really is as Absolute. It remains unborn, unchanged, timeless, unhindered, free, pure, perfect and deathless.

What we experience as ever-changing conceptual phenomena is all happening in and of itself as an infinite possibility and selfless on-going impersonal expression of the Absolute, the Deathless and Unchanging Self, pure 'Spirit'. This spiritual knowing and esoteric knowledge of reality, experience and identity, for what it is, is what is known commonly to us as God-consciousness or Spiritual Awakening (Sat-Chit-Ananda). It is all 'emptiness', pure 'Spirit', appearing temporarily and falsely as something substantial, permanent, conditioned, individualized and real. What I call the unmade, unmoving and unchanging impersonal Deathless Self, or pure Spirit'. The appearance, change and disappearance of all worldly and unworldly phenomena, events, forms, constructs, creations, dramas and conditions does not affect, change, lessen, threaten, hinder, touch, limit, taint, improve or alter what pure 'Spirit' essentially is. It remains untouched, unmoved, inexhaustible and unchanged and yet full of infinite possibilities and boundless potential to continuously and spontaneously express its own pure essence and nature freely and abundantly in an endless myriad, complexity and diversity of multi-dimensional worlds, phenomena, conditions, realms, constructs, creations, dramas and forms. And yet it always remains eternally unchanged, unmoved and formless as it is. It is the unchanging and unmoving Deathless Self. It is the undying 'Spirit' - Pure Being. The Deathless Self alone is. All the world is itself Divinity. It is all Divinity. Imperfection is the real illusion. One enduring Reality. One Mind. One Truth.

I am the 'I-am' of I am.

       'I-am. Life is.' This we cannot deny. If we say "I am not and life is not", then who is it that makes this so-called claim of non-existence and non-being?

THE ABSOLUTE ONENESS OF LIFE

In a way the phenomenal world and all its appearances are mind-made constructs that have no intrinsic or permanent separate existence all of their own, and so too with the mind and mind-consciousness. The individualized mind is also a construct made up of mental impressions, perceptions, urges and intellect, that too have no intrinsic or permanent individual nature of their own. We could say that all experience is mind-made, but I prefer the usage of 'emptiness'. All phenomena arises from 'emptiness', is made of 'emptiness' and returns to 'emptiness', remains as 'emptiness', never having left 'emptiness' and yet 'emptiness' remains forever as it is, unchanged, infinite, formless, inexhaustible, causeless and unmoving. Like the ocean and its waves. Numerous waves have and do occur, rising and falling, appearing and disappearing, large and small and yet the ocean remains forever as it is - unaffected, vast, ever-present and unchanging. The ocean is still the ocean. Reality is still Reality regardless of the coming and going of phenomena and events.

It would appear to us, in the way things are, that it is only us who really decide what has purpose, value and meaning in our lives. It is only the mind or should I say the choices, preferences, urges and assumptions of the mind that gives things a meaning, identity, value and purpose, and yet, in truth it is all 'emptiness'. It is all pure 'Spirit'. Even that which appears as mind and mind-consciousness. These too are empty of permanence. The true undying nature, source, origin and essence of all experience including the mind/body experience and mind-consciousness are the same. Despite the worldly impression of separateness, duality, conditionality and individuality, it is all the impersonal and selfless transcendental Reality playing out of one inexhaustible and indestructible essence and source, and for the sake of these esoteric writings and works, I will continue to call it pure 'Spirit' and the 'Deathless Self'.

It is the 'I-am' of I am.

For me, this pure 'Spirit' is the one true source, origin, nature and essence of all that is, and all that will ever exist. Its nature and identity is freedom itself. Its essence and identity is peace itself. It is the boundless and inexhaustible Deathless Self. Like the ocean, despite the numerous waves that have come and gone, appeared and disappeared, the ocean remains forever as the ocean. The appearance and disappearance of waves does not change the ocean. So too with Reality and identity. So our true undying and selfless essence, pure 'Spirit', is not something to be found, acquired, created and gained. It is not going to suddenly show up. It is what we already are. Here and now, and always. It is the unborn, selfless and eternal impersonal Divine Self. It is the eternal and untouched 'I-am'. It is the one true and enduring identity of all. 

All the world and its myriad of things, creations, dramas and phenomena is this one boundless and inexhaustible Divinity. All alone is the Deathless Self as the eternal 'I-am'. This is the truth of reality, experience and identity that we now rely on, surrender to and identify with. It is the one unlimited and inexhaustible source, origin and essence of all that is, and it gives continuous life and substance to all things and events. It is with its on-going grace that all things and creations come into being and have their existence. For the genuine aspiring and committed atman-yogi this is the true meaning and embodiment of faith. All Reality as one. The Deathless Yogi is only identified with God, seeing and knowing all reality and experience as God. One Reality. One Truth.

            Here and now. 'I-am. Life is'. So what is this 'I-am'? Who am I? The Deathless Self alone is.

What is this?

Who am I?

This is the suggested self-inquiry of Atman-Yoga. OM, shanti, shanti, shanti.
 
Atman-Yoga Daily Mantra: "I-am. Life is. I am one with all life as 'I-am', and all life is one with 'I-am'. Oneness in body. Oneness in mind. Oneness in all things."

Atman-Yoga Daily Meditation: 'Only God is Real' as 'I-am'.'

Song of the Deathless Yogi:

                                        I am 'emptiness'. All is 'emptiness'. 'Emptiness' is all. 

                                    Form is 'emptiness'. Only 'emptiness'. 'Emptiness' is form'.

This esoteric blog is dedicated to my earthly mother 'Rita' who transitioned on the 12th December 2021. A truly selfless, kind, beautiful and loving embodied soul, friend and mother. 

The Many Faces of the One

What is this?

Who am I?

  The Many Face of the One: article 4 - the unpublished esoteric writings of an aging yogi.

THE ONE AS THE MANY

"From the spiritual platform and Truth of pure transcendental knowing and knowledge, Pure Being, nothing need change and yet everything can change; nothing need happen and yet everything can and will happen. All reality, experience and identity is seen and known as one - untouched, unaffected, enduring, perfect and absolute. 'I-am' alone is as all things, despite the appearance, change and disappearance of all things, events, creations, dramas and phenomena. The Deathless Self alone is. For the genuine atman-yogi this is the highest Self-realization, knowing and knowledge of Pure Being. All reality, experience and identity are one as the ever-present 'I-AM'." 

         This is the unsurpassable esoteric message of Atman-Yoga. The Deathless Self alone is.

      continuing from the esoteric collected writings and works of article 3

Obviously in our everyday lives we do not assume ourselves to be a chair or a table or a tree because these are worldly phenomena, creations and things that we experience as separate and individual from the individualized embodied feeling and mental impression that we have of ourselves existing as 'I' and 'me' or 'mine'. The same can be said to be true with the individualized embodied experience of the phenomenal and conceptual world; be it the sky, the ocean, the sun, the clouds, and all animate and inanimate objects and worldly phenomena, creations and forms. We ordinarily and mostly see and relate to ourselves as a separate 'I' and embodied individual.

The worldly feeling and mental impression of self, 'me' or 'I' for most of us feels very much confined, limited, individualized and identified to the mind/body experience, and everything else is very much seen or known as being separate and distinctive from that individual individualized embodied experience and the idea and feeling of a 'me' 'mine' or 'I'. And yet in some way we can also easily recognize how individualized experience is in some larger context interconnected and linked to everything else by the very act of self-awareness and the self-knowing of experience. Despite experience appearing as separate from us, the phenomenal world still seems to mostly affect or not affect how we think, feel and act. What we experience as a subject of experience and experiencing, as being 'me', 'mine' or 'I', is in some way dependent on an object that is being observed, known and experienced in relationship to it; and this also includes the knowing and knowledge of knowing. This knowing and knowledge of knowing being the very act of self-awareness and individualized knowing. There is the self-recognized act of knowing and the sense of an 'I' and 'me' in relationship to this self-knowing of knowing. What we can say is that knowing itself is known, and this awareness and knowing of knowing we would assume to be the 'I' and 'me' who is self-aware and knowing experience and the one who is actually self-knowing and aware. We assume it to be the one or 'I' who is knowing and having experience, and in this knowing and knowledge of knowing experience, the 'I' is known. 'I-am' is or we could say, Reality is. Certainly something or one is experiencing, having and knowing experience, forms and reality.

     'I-am. Life is.' Surely we can all agree this is recognized, experienced and known, even now, otherwise what is this that is happening right now, in this moment and all moments?

What is this?

Who am I?

THE WORLD AS THE DREAM

In the normal individualized embodied waking state of' 'becoming' and 'being' there is the phenomenal world and all its ever-changing appearances, forms, events, situations, dramas and activities, and all the time the phenomenal world and its ever-changing appearances, forms, events, situations, dramas and activities are known to us, a 'me' or 'I' appears to experience and recognize an individualized subject of experience too. This we would see as being the individualized and embodied subject of experience and experiencing; the one who is knowing and is aware of self-knowing and has the recognition and knowledge of this phenomenal world and all its ever-changing activities, forms, dramas, situations, creations and appearances. The ever-changing phenomenal world and all its appearances, forms, dramas, events and activities being the object and objects of our day-to-day self-aware and individualized embodied 'I-am' experience. All the time the ever-changing sensory realms of experience and experiencing are present and have the experience of sensory objects, the 'I' appears to have the worldly feeling and embodied sense of there being an individualized embodied subject that I call 'me' or 'I' that is experiencing them. There is a feeling and idea of separation and individuality between the one who has experience and is experiencing and the things that are experienced, recognized and known.

So too in lucid dreaming, there too is present the unworldly individualized feeling, recognition and self-knowing of a conscious and self-aware subject who is now being fully self-aware and self-conscious of the acting and playing out of the dream state and all its dreamed appearances, forms, creations and activities whilst the body is physically in what we would recognize and know to be a normal everyday sleep state. Here the seemingly phenomenal world and all its appearances, forms, creations and activities are the dreaming reality that is being experienced rather than the normal individualized embodied waking reality. In both these states of consciousness, lucid dreaming or waking, an individualized feeling and sense of there being a subject of experience, the feeling, knowing and knowledge of 'I,' appears to be present to us. I-am. Experience is. Something or someone is self-aware and knowing this experience and knowing all the appearances and ever-changing conditions, forms, phenomena, events and activities that contribute to their existence. The act of 'intelligence' is present, and the self-knowing of this act is identified and known.

Obviously in a deep sleep state no subject of experience appears to be experienced and no phenomenal world appears to available to us, although in the normal waking state and lucid sleep state, the deep sleep is known to us to have ended. In the deep sleep state both the phenomenal world and the subject that experienced it become void to us; and yet we know the potential of 'I' is still temporarily dormant and apparently unaware of the conceptual and everyday world. The 'I-am' still is. In the deep sleep state the 'I' still retains the potential to have experience once the dream state or waking state returns. Most of us are confident that the individualized embodied feeling and knowing of 'I' or 'me' will still be there when we potentially return to the normal everyday waking state and conceptual world. We do not assume that in deep sleep we cease to exist. I'm confident that most of us would expect to wake up from deep sleep and to be the same 'I' that had gone to sleep, and most of us would assume to be the same 'I' that will wake up from sleep. The same would be true of the phenomenal world and all its ever-changing appearances, forms, creations and activities. Most of us would happily and confidently assume it to be there when we wake from the dream or sleep state. We would not assume to wake up from sleep and there be no phenomenal world and no embodied subject that experiences it, unless the so-called individualized 'I' had for some unexpected or expected reason ceased to exist. What we would call death. The end of the individualized embodied self and form.

And yet, who is this individualized embodied 'I' that has experience and experiencing? What is this 'I' that is present in the waking state, dream state and also is dormant and present in deep sleep state? Who is this 'I' when both the phenomenal world and all its appearances, forms, creations and activities are present or not present? And who is this 'I' when there is no individualized self-knowing or knowledge or feeling or self-awareness of 'I' or 'me' or 'mine'?

         I put it to you; from where does this individualized 'I' arise? What is its true origin and source?

         

         Who or what are we before the everyday conceptual world appears or disappears to us?

We can also ask; "who is the real subject of self-knowing and all that is known? Who is it that is self-aware of there being a subject of self-knowing and all that is known? Who or what is this knowing and what is it when the self-knowing of knowing is not known? Who or what is this embodied 'I' that exists and ceases to exist?" Again rather than just chasing, desiring and having experience, in esoteric self-inquiry into the nature and Truth of reality, experience and identity we look at experience directly, and examine in the stillness and silence of 'I-am' its nature, essence, source and true origin. Again asking, who am I before this world ever appeared to me? Who am I before I ever appeared to this world? And who am I when this world disappears to me and I disappear from this world?

What is this?

Who am I?

        'I-am. Life is'. And yet who or what is it that has this self-knowing and knowledge of 'I-am'?

ALL THINGS WILL COME TO PASS

         "in a minute of conceptual so-called time this body can end and cease to exist. In a matter of hours following its death this body can be taken away never to be seen again. In a matter of days it can be burnt and turned into ash, or simply buried, and in a space of a so-called week those same ashes can be scattered in a place that few souls would ever visit or know as existing. So, who are we when all this is done? What is left of 'me' or 'I' when all this has come to pass, end and ceased to exist? What is the true origin, nature, source and essence of 'I-am'? Who was I before this world even appeared o me? Who am I when this world disappears to me? And who was I before I unexpectedly or expectantly appeared to this so-called conceptual world of things, dramas, forms and creations?

                 Who am I? What is this?

I confidently think the majority of us would agree to mostly experience an individualized embodied continuum of subjective and objective experience in our everyday lives. We mostly don't wake up each day and find ourselves in a completely different body or with a completely different worldly identity. There appears to be for the most part an on-going individual and individualized embodied feeling, self-knowing and knowledge of an underlining or inner essence of 'me' or 'I' in some context that gives a sense of 'I-am' or 'I am awake to having and knowing experience'. It is very clear to us that in the everyday normal waking state, that the dream state and the deep sleep state are no longer experienced as part of our experience and in the dreaming state it is the deep sleep state and the waking state that are now not experienced. And it is also known to us that in the deep sleep state neither the dream state or the waking state are experienced. All phenomena in the dream state and the waking state have completely disappeared from our experience. And yet in all three states most of us would happily assume that the idea of 'I' and 'me' continues to exist in some context or form, unless it had ceased to exist. Again, what we would call death.

As a matter of self-inquiry into the idea and truth of 'who am I', the Truth of reality, experience and identity, we could potentially ask of ourselves, "who or what is ever-present in all these three states?" "And what, if anything, is beyond these three states?" Who or what has the self-recollection, recognition and knowing of all these different states? What is my true abiding and enduring essence and nature? What is the true nature and origin of 'I-am'? This is why I repeatedly inquire and state:

What is this?

Who am I?

This simple meditation and contemplation into the true nature, source and essence of reality, experience and identity eventually brings us directly to the experiential Self-realization of transcendental knowing - the 'I-am' of I am. Our true identity with the Absolute.

LOOKING WITHIN TO THE SELF OF SELF

In the worldly individualized embodied waking state, the phenomenal world and the subject of experience, the feeling and self-knowing of 'I' or 'me', appears and is present, and that now becomes the everyday reality and experience of 'self', 'I' and 'me' that is active in our experience in relationship to the phenomenal and conceptual waking world. In the same way in sleep when we are lucid dreaming that dreaming reality becomes active to our experience. So when so-called conditioned or phenomenal experience is known, it would appear that we experience an individual individualized subject that is having it; the subject of experience and the subject of the self-knowing of experience; even though in deep sleep there appears to be no subject, knowing or experience known. It would appear to us that out of no-thing we experience something and when there is no-thing there still seems to be the potential for something to come into existence as 'I' or 'me'. Therefore, the 'I-am' still is. 

We could further inquire and contemplate on this matter what is this 'something' when there is no-thing - the void of emptiness? What has happened to the 'I' or 'me' when no-thing is actually known or experienced? What is the nature or essence of 'no-thingness' from which 'I' arises and has its existence? From where does the individualized mind take form? I only continue to say this to potentially encourage others to further consider and examine the possibility that 'Only God is Real' as the ever present 'I-am' and that everything else is illusion. For me, all has its impersonal being and identity with the Absolute, and the Absolute is the one reality, source, origin and essence of all that is. The fully realized and accomplished atman-yogi identifies with this and only this. 

I am the 'I-am' of I am.

What is presented to you here in these esoteric writings and works on Atman-Yoga is the ancient and perennial spiritual question and quest of spiritual self-inquiry and Self-realization into the nature and essence of reality, experience and identity, 'Who am I?' 'What is this?'

I admit and acknowledge, what is here to read is nothing particularly new or revolutionary. My only unconditional intention and motivation is to openly and freely communicate and put to you that 'Only God is Real' as 'I-am' and therefore there really is no-thing to really fear in life or death. The things and dramas of this conceptual and conditioned world do not touch, threaten, hinder, limit or affect that which we truly are, although it might appear as such. 'I-am' is one with all things and all things are one with 'I-am'. This Truth, through esoteric self-inquiry and contemplation into the true nature, source and essence of reality, experience and identity, you must evidently and purposely examine, investigate, question and discover for yourself in the effortless contemplative and meditative silence and stillness of 'I-am'. For the genuine and committed atman-yogi this is the highest esoteric Self-knowing and knowledge of God - pure 'Spirit'. 'I-AM'. The Deathless Self alone is. This is the unsurpassable and ever-present Truth of reality, experience and identity. True self-reliance and immortality can only come to us from fully recognizing and knowing our true enduring and ever-present identity with the Absolute. What I refer to as 'I-am'. This is the eternal identity of the Deathless Yogi.

I can assure you all that I am not personally trying to convince you or anyone of anything. I am simply putting to you the Truth of reality, experience and identity as I have come to experience and know it. I simply want to openly and freely share my own realized, established and tested Truth of reality, experience and identity so it might too help other embodied souls as it has continually and successfully helped me navigate the ups and downs of conventional living - the so-called embodied 'me'. Nothing special but highly valuable, free and reassuring. It is simply the Self knowing the Self.

       'I-am. Life is'. Not 'I am' this or 'I am' that. Simply 'I-am. Life is.' Only God is Real as 'I-am'.

Atman-Yoga Daily Mantra: "I am. Life is. 'I-am' is one with all life and all life is one with 'I-am'. Oneness in body. Oneness in mind. Oneness in all things."

Atman-Yoga Daily Meditation: 'Only God is Real' as the eternal 'I-am'.

Song of the Deathless Yogi:

                                        I am 'emptiness'. All is 'emptiness'. 'Emptiness' is all. 

                                    Form is 'emptiness'. Only 'emptiness'. 'Emptiness' is form'.

 

This esoteric blog is dedicated to my earthly mother 'Rita' who transitioned on the 12th December 2021. A truly selfless, kind, beautiful and loving embodied soul, friend and mother. 

Post article 2023 note: It is really interesting how reading back on these compiled esoteric writings and works how much is simply voicing the same conclusion only from a variety of angles. Having worked in music writing and production, in some ways I see this as my Atman-Gita. My song of the Self. The only song that I really have left to sing of all my exploits and ventures in examining and knowing what it is to be a God-knowing man. A spiritual path I have been truly blessed and fortunate to take. It has helped the embodied 'me' make peace with all that life is and to fully recognize and know its true enduring identity with the Absolute.