What is this?
Who am I?
The Many Faces of the One: article 8 - the unpublished esoteric writings and works of an ageing yogi.
"I am Spirit. I am free. What does it matter if I am liked or disliked? What does it matter if I am viewed or seen as good or bad, right or wrong, pure or impure, high or low? What does it matter if I am the target of praise or blame, fame or misfortune, affection or ill-will, success or failure? I am not the false impression of doer-ship or the duality of subject and object. I am not the mental and physical faculties of the body and mind. I am not the appearances and disappearances of all creation and its myriad of forms. These things do not limit me or imprison me. They cannot hurt me or destroy me. They do not define me.
I am Spirit. I am free. I am free from praise and blame, fame and misfortune, affection and ill-will, success and failure. I am free from good and bad, right and wrong, pure and impure, high and low. I am free from guilt and shame, elation and sorrow, gain and loss, fear and uncertainty. I am free from the mental and physical faculties of the mind and body. I am free from the false impressions of doer-ship and the duality of subject and object. I am free from the appearance, change and disappearance of all creation, and its myriad of forms and constructs. These things do not limit me or imprison me. They cannot hurt me or destroy me. They do not define me." Only God is Real.
"I am Spirit. I am free. What does it matter if I am liked or disliked? What does it matter if I am viewed or seen as good or bad, right or wrong, pure or impure, high or low? What does it matter if I am the target of praise or blame, fame or misfortune, affection or ill-will, success or failure? I am not the false impression of doer-ship or the duality of subject and object. I am not the mental and physical faculties of the body and mind. I am not the appearances and disappearances of all creation and its myriad of forms. These things do not limit me or imprison me. They cannot hurt me or destroy me. They do not define me.
I am Spirit. I am free. I am free from praise and blame, fame and misfortune, affection and ill-will, success and failure. I am free from good and bad, right and wrong, pure and impure, high and low. I am free from guilt and shame, elation and sorrow, gain and loss, fear and uncertainty. I am free from the mental and physical faculties of the mind and body. I am free from the false impressions of doer-ship and the duality of subject and object. I am free from the appearance, change and disappearance of all creation, and its myriad of forms and constructs. These things do not limit me or imprison me. They cannot hurt me or destroy me. They do not define me." Only God is Real.
continuing from the unpublished esoteric writings and works of article 7
BEING AWAKE
In a way the conceptual world is nothing but what we decide it is. The conceptual world only exists as an idea and mental impression held in the so-called mind. Although it appears to be external to the 'I' that experiences it, when closely examined and investigated it is seen as existing with the one who perceives it. So now we can ask in the pursuit of understanding and knowing the truth of reality, experience and identity, "who is the one that perceives the conceptual world of things and creations and all that happens in relationship to there being a conditioned phenomenon and construct we call world?" We can even directly examine and investigate the one who perceives, experiences and knows the 'I' thought. This being the thought and feeling of 'I' - the individualized self-aware embodied 'I'.
Now, in this spiritual and philosophical self-inquiry and contemplation of 'I', what is real, becomes a little more challenging to clarify in a conclusive, permanent and absolute way. As does, "Who am I?"
Certainty of the phenomenal world and who we really are in relationship to it becomes a little more uncertain, empty, unreliable, fluid and transient. In the recognition, self-knowing and knowledge of Self-realization and Spiritual-awakening the phenomenal world and its on-going myriad of ever-changing forms, dramas, events, creations, contradictions and situations are seen to be the unreal, empty and transient rather than the real and substantial, and what is real is seen to be something that transcends the limits, constructs and confines of the conceptual, conditioned and phenomenal world. Even the notion of 'I' or 'self' becomes less rigid, tangible, certain, real and conclusive.
What was once seen and identified as 'self' or 'I' becomes uncertain, translucent and unreliable. Our self-reliance and trust on separateness, I-am-the-body and individuality lessens, and potentially disappears, and the self-importance that we placed on the ever-changing phenomenal world and the mind/body experience becomes somewhat secondary to us. This spiritual recognition and self-knowing of Self-realization is known as an impersonal, selfless and objectless knowing. It is the Self-knowing of knowing itself without a formed or conditioned fixed identity that knows it. There is no real or permanent individualized 'I' or 'me' to whom this realization happens or belongs. It is the awakening and awareness of knowing itself as being the silence and stillness of transcendental impersonal knowing and Self-knowledge. It is the impersonal knowing of knowing without a fixed and limited individualized and embodied subject. It simply is the ever-present 'I-am'. It is simply God-Reality itself, as it is. And this God-Reality is all seen as the impersonal, unchanging, ever-present and unmoving pure 'Spirit' playing with and knowing itself in all that is experienced and known in multiple expressions and constructs. It is all Divinity itself. It has not come from anywhere and so too it does not go anywhere and yet it is everywhere and everything.
Of course the feeling, thought and idea of a 'I' or 'ego' as a temporary and selfless appearance with the truth of emptiness, can continue to engage, act and play with the ever-changing phenomenal world with a feeling and notion of the one who is doing it, but what once seemed real, limiting, reliable, certain and substantial is now seen and known as the unreal, limitless, unreliable and insubstantial. It is not the limiting and permanent construct, identity and reality that it was once thought or believed to be. It is all seen and known to be empty and free of anything substantial, personal and permanent or real. It is all seen as 'emptiness', Spirit', doing its sacred transcendental and spontaneous play and dance of infinite possibilities, transitory worlds, realms, dramas, constructs, contradictions and forms. It is the ever-changing essence of 'emptiness', pure 'Spirit' doing its sacred and endless play and dance. What once appeared substantial and real is now seen and known to be insubstantial and unreal, and therefore we can now challenge experience with the question as to "what is this real?" If in fact 'real' actually exists. What of birth, ageing and death? What of 'self' and 'other'? What of 'this' and 'that'? What of time, form and space?
We can inwardly and directly ask, how do I live, love, act and play out my embodied life simply as a boundless, fearless and limitless temporary expression of 'I-am', and not feel burdened, trapped and fearless of all that is and all that will ever be? How do I live and love a fearless and full life when knowing that all that is will come to pass? How do I, the embodied 'I', continuously stay open, loving, at peace, fearless and free in the midst of all that is challenging, changing and painful in the world of dual experience?
'I-am'. Life is'. This we cannot deny.
'I-am'. Life is'. This we cannot deny.
EMBRACING THE ESSENCE of 'I AM'
For me, in a way there is no individualized 'I' or 'me' who is actually realized or needs to be realized. What is to be realized is already realized. 'I-am' always is, regardless. It has always been what it is, and it forever remains as it is - unchanging, eternal, untouched, perfect and unmoved.
It is not that something is done to it when it is fully realized and actualized. Essentially in Spiritual-awakening and Self-realization nothing has really changed even if there is the appearance and impression of something changing, like the falling away of ignorance. The act and process of Self-realization and Spiritual-awakening is simply the impersonal and temporary acting and playing out of three temporary conceptual components, these being mind-consciousness, mind and body. What experience is, is an on-going playing out and an ever-changing fluid dance of these three conceptual components as a temporary individualized expression of pure 'Spirit'. Nothing more than this. The true essence, identity and nature of pure 'Spirit' is not touched, altered, moved, threatened, limited, hindered or actualized because of this. It forever remains as it is. It remains as the unchanging and ever-present 'I-am'. The one Truth of all Reality. Is-ness.
I am the 'I-am' of I am.
Self-realization and Spiritual-awakening is itself simply a selfless, impersonal and temporary individualized expression of pure 'Spirit'. It's true essence and nature is not changed, altered, limited or affected by these ever-changing worldly events, conditions, forms, contradictions and dramas of life. These on-going events and dramas occur as a transitory and ever-changing embodied temporary expression of pure 'Spirit'. but their individualized expression and existence does not alter, change, threaten, lessen, hindered, improve or affect what pure 'Spirit' essentially is. They happen within the infinite and boundless existence and expression of 'Spirit', and pure 'Spirit' is fully present with and within all that happens, and yet pure 'Spirit' remains forever as it is - unchanged, free, eternal, pure, unthreatened, perfect, plentiful, boundless and unmoved. The 'I-am' always is, whether experience is happening or not. It is not reliant on or does not need experience and knowing in order to exist. It is completely self-reliant and self-sufficient. It simply is as the ever-present and enduring 'I-am'. All is transcendental.
As a consequence of spiritual self-inquiry into the nature and essence of existence and identity we stop trying to find and have permanence in that which is impermanent. We fully realize and accept that no matter how much we might objectify and attach the need for permanent happiness, reward, peace, satisfaction, pleasure, security, control and fulfilment in the things and events of this ever-changing world, we will in the end fail.
As a consequence of spiritual self-inquiry into the nature and essence of existence and identity we stop trying to find and have permanence in that which is impermanent. We fully realize and accept that no matter how much we might objectify and attach the need for permanent happiness, reward, peace, satisfaction, pleasure, security, control and fulfilment in the things and events of this ever-changing world, we will in the end fail.
All things will come to pass.
Not because we did anything wrong or bad, but purely because of the way things are in life. What is new and fresh to us will decay and become old. This simply is the very nature and way of things. There really is no permanence to be found and owned in that which is impermanent, even if we try to convince and tell ourselves that there is.
No one did anything wrong or bad. No one is to blame. It is simply the way things are. Birth is the true cause of death. No birth. No death. No creation, therefore no destruction. That is why we seek that which transcends the limits and conditions of birth and death, creation and destruction. Not to get all down on life but to bring an end to suffering. To fully recognize and acknowledge the impermanence and 'emptiness' of all worldly and unworldly things, conditions and phenomena is a wise and life-affirming transforming step in our ownership and awakening to the true freedom and boundless nature of pure 'Spirit' and that 'Only God is Real'. We genuinely and wholeheartedly see all reality, experience and identity as being Divinity itself. Nothing really to fear in life or death as it is all one God-Reality, simply experienced and known in a myriad and diversity of forms, creations, dramas, contradictions and phenomena.
This is the sacred and life-transforming message of Atman-Yoga. All is one. One God-Reality.
"I am Spirit. I am free. I am free from struggle and the end of struggle. I am free from suffering and the end of suffering. I am free from the on-going worldly forces of attraction and repulsion, expansion and contraction, creation and destruction. I am free from ignorance and the end of ignorance. I am free from existence and non-existence. I am free from action and no action. I am free from emptiness and fullness. I am free from comfort and discomfort. I am free from ease and dis-ease. I am free from the on-going appearance, change, and disappearance of all phenomena; be they worldly or unworldly. I am forever 'Spirit' and I am forever free of all things, conditions, contradictions and appearances." Only God is Real.
This is the sacred and life-transforming message of Atman-Yoga. All is one. One God-Reality.
"I am Spirit. I am free. I am free from struggle and the end of struggle. I am free from suffering and the end of suffering. I am free from the on-going worldly forces of attraction and repulsion, expansion and contraction, creation and destruction. I am free from ignorance and the end of ignorance. I am free from existence and non-existence. I am free from action and no action. I am free from emptiness and fullness. I am free from comfort and discomfort. I am free from ease and dis-ease. I am free from the on-going appearance, change, and disappearance of all phenomena; be they worldly or unworldly. I am forever 'Spirit' and I am forever free of all things, conditions, contradictions and appearances." Only God is Real.
What is this?
Who am I?
'I-am'. Life is'. This cannot be denied.
'I AM' IS.
As a consequence of worldly ignorance of pure 'Spirit' we ordinarily and daily assume that space, time and form are fundamental and essential to our existence and experience. The same is true with mind-consciousness, mind and body, but perhaps they are not?
They simply are worldly constructs and phenomena that shape this conceptual, changing and phenomenal reality, and yet they have no separate or real existence of their own apart from the functionality of the mind and mind-consciousness, and the importance we place on them. Yet we are always presented with the question and dilemma of "who is the one placing self-importance and neediness on them? Who or what is it that makes experience appear personal to the one that has experience? We are all faced with the feeling of 'I-am' and 'Life is'. Our very conditioned and constructed humanity demands this of us otherwise all the ugliness, selfishness, pain, brutality, indifference and cruelty of the world does not make sense. It will simply appear meaningless, absurd and cruel and will simply continue to allow suffering to burden and mask our experience and experiencing of the ever-changing conditions, contradictions and challenges of life. We will not wake up fully to the true essence, source, bliss and nature of 'I-am' and transcend the limiting, painful and temporary conditions, burdens and consequences of the mind/body experience. We will not actualize and know the true bliss of God-Reality and the enduring transcendental beauty and nature that is all things, creations, constructs, dramas and forms.
- One Finger Pointing
The simple and life-affirming message of Atman-Yoga is that whether these things, dramas and creations happen or not, it does not alter, threaten, lessen, affect, change or add to what the true essence of Self or 'I-am' really is. It states, that "all things are of 'Spirit', in 'Spirit', with 'Spirit' and pure 'Spirit' is ultimately within and as all things. And yet this abiding and ever-present 'Spirit' remains forever as it is - untouched, unchanged, unmoved, unthreatened, free, fulfilled, perfect, plentiful, inexhaustible and eternal.
It is the deathless and eternal Self that is the one true essence and source of all that is." Be it father, mother, daughter, son, husband, wife, man, woman, lover or hater, friend or enemy, rich or poor, young or old, saint or sinner, philanthropist or tyrant, expert or fool, nobody or somebody, these are all simply temporary individualized roles that the worldly 'I' performs and plays depending on particular situations, choices, consequences, conditions, latent tendencies and relationships, and these worldly roles do not define and limit who and what we really are - pure 'Spirit'. They do not affect, change or alter what 'I-am' is.
We are always Spirit first. All alone is this. Only God is Real as the ever-present 'I-am'.
We are always Spirit first. All alone is this. Only God is Real as the ever-present 'I-am'.
I am the 'I-am' of I am. Is-ness.
This is the message of Atman-Yoga. The Deathless Self alone is. One Reality. One Mind. One Truth.
*additional note: I feel it is important to clarify and communicate at this point in these contemplative and meditative writings and works on Atman-Yoga that what is presented here is beyond the needs and conditions of 'becoming' and 'being', or even 'doing'. It is not that we look to take on a spiritual identity or persona. Even this can be an unwelcomed and potential hindrance in letting go of all that is unreal and transitory and therefore we miss out on the true and genuine awakening of 'I-am' and Only God is Real. 'I-am' simply is. What we give up and let go of is the mind's incessant need and conditioning to 'become' and 'be', and all the criteria, limitations, ideas and attachments that comes with 'becoming' and 'being'.
Obviously I don't ask or expect everyone who reads this to understand and accept this point I make but it is important that I make it. I too have been a victim of this oversight, and that is why I state it here. This statement does not take away from the choice or importance of adhering to a particular spiritual identity, path, dogma or teaching should it serve the genuine purpose in fully aspiring and committing to a way of full awakening and Self-realization. I can assure you that the Truth and conclusions of Atman-Yoga embraces, honors and celebrates all life in its myriad, diversity and complexity of forms, constructs and creations. I would say it is you and it is you alone who must find and actualize the right path that best serves you in clearing and purifying the individualized mind of all ignorance and delusion into the nature and truth of reality, experience and identity.
Even though I say all this, I would like to think what is here on this esoteric blog might potentially help point you in the right direction. This is the light of the true Self in service to the love of Self.
Atman-Yoga Daily Mantra: "I-am. Life is. I am one with all life and all life is one with me. Oneness in body. Oneness in mind. Oneness in all things."
Atman-Yoga Daily Meditation: 'Only God is Real.'
Song of the Deathless Yogi:
I am 'emptiness'. All is 'emptiness'. 'Emptiness' is all.
Form is 'emptiness'. Only 'emptiness'. 'Emptiness' is form'.
This esoteric blog is dedicated to my earthly mother 'Rita' who transitioned on the 12th December 2021. A truly selfless, kind, beautiful and loving embodied soul, friend and mother.
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